I am not a fan of confrontation. For the most part, I am a quiet and reserved person so I do not like to rock the boat or cause waves. However, there are times when confrontation is necessary, and that was something I had to learn. Confronting someone who offended or upset me was out of my comfort zone, so if you're like me, here is how I learned to handle confrontation.

A- Attitude

There were times when I did not agree with certain situations, however, it was important that I did not get an attitude. If I disagreed with someone, I did not begin to argue with this person or single her out in front of a group of people. I would first take the time to calm down and get my behavior and motives in check. Then I would meet privately with the person and discuss the situation in a non threatening way. For example, I had to talk to a teacher about something she did that upset me. I did not agree with what she said and how she handled the situation. I did not approach her with an attitude or in anger. I smiled and explained how I perceived the situation and how there might have been other ways to handle the situation. By the end of the conversation she stated that she might have improperly handled the situation and took steps to mend it. I did not approach her with an I'm right your wrong attitude because that would have escalated the situation. I humbly approached her, and I was willing to listen to her and she listened to me.

B- Be Factual

When you are confronting someone, stick to the facts. What did this person do to offend or upset you? What are solutions to the make this situation better? The purpose of a healthy confrontation is to make a situation better. If you are a teacher like me, you will see the person in the hallway, cafeteria, teacher's lounge, staff meetings, etc. There is no avoiding him or her so instead of holding a grudge or harboring bitterness, talk to that person. Discuss the facts and try not to let your emotions prevent compromise.

C- Compassion

I have learned that people who like to argue all the time and cause drama are usually people who are not happy with themselves. They have deeper issues in life and they do not know how to deal with their problems. We don't know what other people have been through or what they are going through. Sometimes people who snap at others might not mean to go off, but the issue or situation that is present in their lives at that moment might be too much to bare. I am not advocating for people who like to cause drama and pick fights with other people. I am saying that when you approach people who are like this, keep in mind that there might be an under current to their actions.